There is an old quotation which is a one hundred percent true – “Children are like wet cement, whatever falls on it makes an impression”. As a parent and as an educator we need to be extremely careful as to what impressions we are leaving on our children both consciously and unconsciously.
Teaching children some basic values are extremely important and some values start right from the birth. The correct dictionary meaning of the word, Value, is, principles or standards of behaviour. Value or the word used for it in old scriptures, Sanskar is the very essence of character building.
Imbibing appropriate sanskar is the confluence of our personal experiences and of the culture we are entwined in. Sanskars or Values are generally learnt from our family in childhood and are further reinforced by our teachers, friends and through our life experiences.
My mother, for example, is a person who has never given a bribe. During my college days when I wanted to start driving, I was told to go to the RTO and get my license made. My friends had got the same made by giving money to some brokers or middle men. I however earned it by missing college for 3 days and standing in unending lines to get the license made. Believe me, my sense of pride in holding my Learners Driving License was as if I had conquered the world. Giving and taking a bribe are both social evils, an extremely important value I learnt for life through real life example instead of my social studies book.
As a parent you want your child to be the epitome of values. Be it honesty, generosity, love, compassion, patience, humility or self-discipline—the list is long. We all want our children to imbibe these qualities to become good human beings.
Learning to be neat and tidy, greeting elders with respect, being punctual and curbing aggression are some of the very initial learnings in value education. At school, values like team spirit, fair play and sincerity towards work, come to the forefront. My Dad and Mom never lectured us on the importance of working hard and giving our best to everything we did. That’s how they lived their own lives, but it subconsciously rubbed off on my brother and me.
It is said that Children Close Their Ears To Advice And Open Their Eyes To Example !
Parents & Educators have to inculcate values in their children not by preaching but by practicing. So, when children at our preschool constantly hear our educators saying a thankyou or a sorry to the nanny, guard or driver they automatically learn to value each individual.
Staying neat and tidy is another value which is learnt unconsciously by the child. So, if you have a routine for the child to take a bath and wear clean clothes early in the morning be it a weekday or a weekend, a very important sanskar is built. As a parent you need to make it a point that the child understands that taking a bath early in the morning can’t be skipped if you have got up late or if it’s cold. It’s a very important & basic life lesson. Moreover, a child (any age) will sit more focused in the class if he or she is neat and tidy.
Another important value that the child needs to learn at an early age is to value time. I remember very vividly that my father always told me that, “you need to wait for your school bus, the school bus will not wait for you.” I remember he explained me the consequence of missing the school bus would be missing a complete day of fun at school and a boring day at home. Unfortunately, one day I spent a little too much time in tantrums while drinking milk and missed the school bus. I cried and begged my dad to drop me to school but I remember spending the day at home, deprived of all entertainment amenities.
Believe me it wasn’t that my dad didn’t have the means or time to drop me to school. We too stayed in a nuclear family where my dad was in the Army and my Mom a doctor. I don’t know how difficult it must have been for both of them to keep me at home as both were working. It was just that an extremely important value of punctuality was learnt by me that day. That was the first and the last day I ever missed by school bus or have ever got late for any place.
When you are dropping your child late to school every day, be rest assured that they will be an HR’s nightmare at work as they will be always be punching late for work and will never value time. Apart from this, obviously the child misses the early day ice breakers at school which are again important for the child’s concentration in class through the day.
Another aspect commonly seen nowadays is how effortlessly we challenge the teaching ability of an educator in front of our kids. This is again at times consciously or unconsciously done by parents when they are discussing the teacher or the school at social gatherings. How will the children ever learn to respect their guru when all they hear is you criticising them? Values are only and only learnt by practicing them in front of your kids. This is extremely important if we want our next generation to be responsible citizens.
The value of kindness is extremely important for today’s generation. This value is reinforced at our playschool, Niña & Niña Preschool, during festivals like Diwali & Christmas. We take the kids to the nearby slums to distribute sweets and gifts to the underprivileged. This selfless act helps build a very strong character in children.
During my early years of growing up I saw my mother, who is a doctor give her time and service to treat the poor for free. This helped me imbibe a very strong sanskar of giving back something to the society. As a result, from my college days, every Sunday I volunteered to go to a close by orphanage to teach the kids Computers and English. This was something that wasn’t forced on me by my parents but I guess the value of Individual Social Responsibility was built at a very early age.
Let’s work towards building a generation that values time, neatness, compassion, honesty and hardwork. Sanskar is like sowing of a seed of individual morals and ethics during childhood so that obedience of these values becomes part of life and remains with our little ones throughout the life.
Remember that every word and every action of yours is under the scanner of the little ones and they will soon be a reflection of you.
-Divya Joshi
Thanks for sharing such a wonderful article.
Even I do believe in Sanskar and I believe that kids are like clay whatever form you create out of it it becomes permanent.
So truly you said “Remember that every word and every action of yours is under the scanner of the little ones and they will soon be a reflection of you. ”
Appreciated a lot.
So well articulated…you have hardly left anything unsaid. It is a paradox that we all love our value system but unfortunately very few wants to practice it when it comes to them. I have seen parents expecting schools to teach all good values to children but not at all conscious of extending that learning at home or leading by example. Thanks for sharing this.
This is so aptly detailed out . Something we all need to listen to and more importantly practice it everyday