No Lock Down of Knowledge Sharing and so, another opportunity to share my experiences!
In the last blog, I shared five things that I had done right as a parent. Please read the same, if have not gone through the same, providing a link for it. (http://ninonina.in/blog/ten-things-i-did-right-as-a-parent-part-one/)
In continuation with the last Five Points that I did right as a Parent:
5. Keeping the Channels Open: There were many many instances wherein my son used to come home and narrate his wrong doing. These were simple things like telling an innocuous lie, pushing any kid or not listening in his class. We ensured that we never scold him on the things that he told himself. We knew that the moment we will start scolding, he will not be open with us. However, we used to counsel him and keep a track that he is not repeating. These small things give comfort level to a child and helps in having a strong bond. This also helps in child listening to your guidance in much better fashion in long run.
4. Fitness Matters: Playing with your child is the easiest way to build a bond. Playing with your kid is not an easy task once kids grow up. It might demand physical stress which comes from own fitness. It is always good to partner your child in games like races, hide & seek early on and serious sports like badminton/cricket later on. It will be more & more tough as time will pass but if you are fit then your kid will always have a partner at home. I had been playing squash for eleven years when my son started to learn tennis. I took a hard decision to leave squash and start learning tennis just to ensure he has a company. That’s another twist that he lost interest in tennis after few years (my mistake of letting him do so) and I now breathe tennis :). Remember that fitness comes from being watchful what you eat and your own healthy habits like exercise.
3. Right Decision at Right Time: Choosing a formal school is not an easy decision as it has a long-term impact. Further, the parents who are used to watch their child live on their cell, interact with teachers/founders anytime over anything, get lot of feedback from preschool might face a cultural shock. (Read a separate blog on this at http://ninonina.in/blog/2019/01/06/nursery-at-a-formal-school-versus-a-playschool/)
Working in corporates and being an MBA, we prepared a weighted average matrix wherein we ranked certain parameter of our shortlisted schools. This helped us derive the final ranks of our options. We were then clear as to which are the best schools for our child and in which order. We chose a school which gives focus on holistic development of the child. Our kid was part of school music band and house badminton team. Later on during grade 8, when we realised that academics will be the only area our kid can excel, we changed the formal school to a convent school with academic focus which really paid dividends.
2. Be What You Want Them to Be: Children become what they see. If one wants their kids to be caring when they grow up then the kids should see their parents doing exactly the same. If you care for your parents/in laws, if you are empathetic towards your maids, if you maintain your calm while driving on maddening streets and if you don’t criticize anyone before your child then you will be able to transform your child into a empathetic & caring human being. This has been the principle followed in our house and we can see results of the same.
1. Giving Time…. Quality Time: The last point is more for fathers. Everything fails if you don’t give quality time to your child. Role of father has evolved from being a bread earner to an active participant. I felt I was in an underpaid job (though, everyone thinks the same :)) when my son was young but I decided to stick on to it as it was giving me a good work life balance. I used to take my son to children’s park once I reached home followed by teaching him. As my son & his friends grew up, I became their gang leader by involving them into lot of activities (Still called King Uncle by many parents of our apartment 🙂 ). Our home became a permanent gathering spot for the apartment kids once they were done with outdoors. The apprehension of house being messed up with so many children never crossed in our minds (Wife was very supportive here). Today, I have a sense of satisfaction as I have given lot of time to my son during his growing days. Remember, a child needs time of both the parents.
With this I conclude the ten things I did right and my five mistakes as a parent. We can never be perfect but we can try to improve ourselves by learning from mistakes of others and adopting good practices of others.
The link of previous two blogs are below. Enjoy reading.
-NISHCHAL ARORA
